Still

Cathedral of Night
Sanctuary of Darkness
Sacred in Silence

Throw Back Haiku

Blue beneath, Blue above
Sun sparkling at my fingertips
Stare into infinity

ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP

At this current point in time I am unenthusiastic about blogging. Actually, overall I am unenthusiatic about blogging...hence the name of this blog, The Anti-Blog. There was way to many blogs in that last sentence so I am about to attempt to not use that word for the rest of this point. My eyes are refusing to stay open and that dizzy, dull feeling of sleep seems to be weighing upon them. Sadly, I am not going to be able to sleep until late this night. BUT THAT IS ALL I WANT. Right after school I have volleyball practice and then I have a ridiculous amount of stats. And on top of that I have sketches to complete for AP Art. Most people would probably look at that last task and say, "So what?". However, it would appear that with any piece of art I complete I have OCD about it being the best it can be and will not stop until I am satisfied. It takes me at least an hour a sketch. Don't get me wrong, I love art, but it is stressing me out at this point in time...questions are always in the back of my mind. Like, "What if this turns out to look like crap?" and "What if, after all, I have no skill?". For Homecoming this year I made the hugely obnocxious sign that everyone looks at right as they walk into the school and the whole three hours I spent making it, spray paint in hand, I was worried sick. I think I need to make a concious effort to not worry as much. Gives me too many headaches. That makes me think of another thing I am making a concious effort to do, or in this case not to do. There is so much unnecessary drama this year within our grade that I am not attempting to not talk about anyone negatively. I want to leave this school on a positive note and at the rate this years seniors are going, everyone will end alone and without friends. I want to remember high school as the best years of my life, not look back with regrets.

Hacked!

True feelings for sure....I will be sure to get over my shyness and talk to both of you more. haha

my true feeligs

I love dalton raab and mike frankowski with all my heart. I dont talk to them very often because I am shy and dont like to share my feelings. I wish they would talk to me more because I really do have alot of feelings of feelings for them.

Ridiculousity

You know, I am not even sure if ridiculousity is a real word, but it essentially sums up my day. Actually, it about sums up the entire high school experience...anyways, for those of you looking at this negatively, I could very well be trying to construe it in the most positively mega-awesome way ever, and for those of you looking at it in a positive light, you optimism is probably vaguely annoying to some people. Just saying. Thought that you should know. This word that I just made up could go in either direction...which is the same way people are, coincidentally. Anyone and anything could go either way depending upon the situation they are in as well as the person who is looking at the situation. It shows that there are two sides to everything and the world is multi-faceted, one just must dig past the gritty outside layer that seems to encase all. Wow, deep stuff for not meaning to even write today. Definitely not the direction I was going for. Or maybe it was all along and I just did not realize it. Hmmm..interesting. Maybe all the unnecessary technology in my life right now is not such an awful thing after all. Time will tell.
Reading over what I have just wrote it would appear that I am continuously digressing and as a matter of fact I am unable to recall what I had in mind to write when I first sat down at this computer. How tragic. For all the world could have known it might have been an awe-inspring Noble Prize winning piece, but it is lost forever inside my brain. Probably not, but the remote, microcosmic possibility is still there! Which is currently numb from the school day. Can your brain even be numb? If you were to inject your brain with novacaine, what would happen? Instant death or a zombie-like state? If it were the zombie-like state, people could get novacaine injected into their brains for realistic Halloween costumes. I might pursue that idea and make millions.
This has been word vomit to the max. And for those who actually choose to read this, I apologize. I am honest to goodness not this strange in real life.

Life Alone; A Question

Life is a sallow silhouette of a girl
Teetering on the edge of a rocky shore
In the dawn of another gray day
She stands alone
On the crumbling edge of sanity
The promise of death below
Beckoning and yearning for her soul
She stands alone
The line of decision has been drawn
Everlasting and undefined
Stepping back, she realizes
Never is she alone